dear diary…

• 

this love..

it feels like..

young love

present love

future love

all 3 rolled into one....

so brave

so strong

so true

so beautiful

i’ve never loved anyone the way i love you

i don’t think i ever will

…

.

was it the mirroring?

the music?

or the love bite?

how did it happen?

was it the universe?

did you orchestrate it?

i didn’t

every single time i surrendered

simply flowed with spirit

told the truth

expressed every fear

every single time, it was spot on

every single time, it scared the shit out of me

every single time, it was truth

we threw our wounds at each other

we hurt each other

and yet, somehow, it was all in the name of what?

self-love, healing and self-discovery

doesn’t this mean we’re capable of loving each other with that same depth?

with that same loyalty

that same truth

and, that same passion?

.

even though fearful?

will we ever be ready?

.

healed

light

aligned

and beautifully matched

i dreamt of adventures together into old age

and creating new dreams with you

i dreamt of falling asleep in each other’s arms every night…

“goodnight, baby. i love you. sleep well.

i’ll see you in the morning” 🩵

i love you so deeply

that i can’t imagine wanting to spend a single day

or night

apart from you

.

just us

.

our own little protected bubble

us against the world

.

i thought we'd make

a fierce little

team

.

seen

safe

loved

.

to touch each others bodies,

after so many years

.

i’d start with the hands

mapping each other out

like a new country to discover

.

you know, one you’ve visited many times before

)only fleeting visits though....

wondering if one day you might return)

....

return…

with, more time,

a clearer map

and a wiser eye

we’ve studied the maps first

in preparation

so we'd know where we want to go

.

trace the map

eyes first..

then, fingers

and finally mouths 👄

we could mark out

interesting points to return to

with feathers

ribbon 🎀

and cord

i think that if you were beside me...

i wouldn’t feel afraid of anything

wales, if you like

portugal, if you like

spain, if you like

morocco, if you like

.

man...

i had us heading all the way down..

down, into the vast plains of the Serengeti

and the wild lush jungles of Rwanda

.

renovating and selling

travelling and wandering

exercising and sleeping

all the way down into Africa…

in a trusty old van

called ‘moon’

---

.

i suppose it never really mattered where

---

it doesn’t matter now

just, together

wherever

whenever

forever

• 

i love you al 💜💜💜